Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You need a sexual gate keeper
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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