Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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