it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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