"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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