***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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