well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
