I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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