home. puking in laundry basket.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
