I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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