guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
no you cant smoke seaweed
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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