I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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