would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
