Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
3pm strippers are depressing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
