She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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