it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
