Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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