idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
