they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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