I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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