"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
