I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize