Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
