Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Alive.
So much puke
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
