Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
