I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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