Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize