She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
