I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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