People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
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The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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