We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
