Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
