WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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