wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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