I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
