Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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