Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize