Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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