i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
