You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
