sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
