Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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