Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
