i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
this will be a night to untag.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
