she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
