so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
