You just made me feel so damn special
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
