last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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