He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
