I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
