we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
