I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
