just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
