I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
