my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
