Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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