Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
