she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She told me I should be a condom model.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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