I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
