Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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