At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
