I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
