i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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